You post kind of says it all Marlene, the reason behind why all this needed to be done. You worry about the future of this board... yes, with no form of moderation and with no rules in place, EXACTLY! But now, we have rules in place so if we get people who keep breaking them continually, then those individuals are eventually weeded out.Marlene wrote:Yes I noticed.catsalive wrote: Some of you may have noticed I'm not swapping. I'd like you all to know that this is for financial reasons & not because I'm having a dummy-spit over the new guidelines. I'll be taking myself out of the vbb's too once someone takes all my books
I'm finding myself reading through reams of swap pages just to get a bit of a fix
Giz I do not worry only about myself girl.
I worry about the future of this board mostly.
so many little arguments are popping up more and more, and those things keep coming back because there are really no rules about them or because of resentment toward each other.
catsalive wrote: Some of you may have noticed I'm not swapping. I'd like you all to know that this is for financial reasons & not because I'm having a dummy-spit over the new guidelines
I'm finding myself reading through reams of swap pages just to get a bit of a fix
- 17K124
Ah that's why you haven't been swapping. Glad to know it wasn't me.catsalive wrote: Some of you may have noticed I'm not swapping. I'd like you all to know that this is for financial reasons & not because I'm having a dummy-spit over the new guidelines
I'm finding myself reading through reams of swap pages just to get a bit of a fix
I voted for the 6 months as more of a personal commitment, I see now that I voted the wrong way. (this is in response to the poll, but I decided to put everything here because it's really an all encompassing thing)...
I came to this site just under a year ago, and I love(d) it. I've grown to love coming here a lot, talking and swapping, etc. I liked that there wasn't a lot of drama, or a lot of finger pointing...And I think people on the boards will even admit that.
But this new set of rules, just floors me and mirrors something else that I once loved. I used to be a regular on Nervousness.org (a altered mail site). Then the site owner decided to leave and switched it over to a board and then the site went down, just boards. As a result, I left. I've come back to that site a few times, but for the most part, not. Now, the difference on Nervousness was that there were originally a set of rules, that kinda went by the wayside when the main site went down--the feedback system went offline, etc. One good thing, though, was that a person wasn't automatically a member--you had to have a period of time where you participated in a few swaps and made sure you were bringing something to the Nervousness.org table.
The basic idea about these rules (and I'm normally the first person to embrace guidelines/rules) is that someone is policing the way an adult behaves. We're setting up rules because 2% of the people on this board don't follow through with commitments, but there are 98% of people that do follow through. 98%. Everyone I've seen on the boards lately, and even in this post are NOT the people that we're having to change the way we swap for.
Do you realize that a population where only 2% are 'outside' the rules is great? Especially for a web board? I mean, we're reliable and responsible people who have gathered together to celebrate one thing--books. We're all over the world, we come from different places and backgrounds and we've still been able to connect. Yeah, in a perfect world, we'd all have enough money for postage and the postal fairy would pickup whichever books we needed to send out that day and make them appear instantaneously at the place where they need to go... But this isn't the real world.
I personally should be able to get things out within 6 months, I have that recovering Catholic guilt thing that makes me feel bad if I don't send out something, and I thank the board for putting together the DB because it helped me track some things that I forgot about. But at the same time, I'm an adult. I don't need to be policed and I think that if I'm in someone's swap, I should play by someone's (meaning the swap creator's) rules--by playing in their game, I respect and say I'll follow their rules. Other than that, I don't feel right saying sending a PM to someone whose hosting or a member of the board saying "So-and-so isn't following through on their commitments." If I have an issue with not getting something, it's my responsibility to talk to the person on my own.
And I know confrontation sucks sometimes, I hate doing it, but the whole thing might be alleviated by me saying 'hey, I think we had a swap a few months ago, and I just wanted to be clear on what I'm getting from you. Do you have an idea of when you can send to me?' And if that deadline comes and you don't hear from them, fine. Then it's time to really start thinking about what to do. Yes, I understand that it's hard to wait for a book that you're reading the series of (went through the issue with Haunted by Kelley Armstrong lately), but if it's really a big issue, go to the library, or read a book that you have on mt tbr that you're owed. Everything happens for a reason, you know? Don't look at obstacles as roadblocks that'll leave you in bumper to bumper traffic for 3 hours--look at them as opportunities to take that secondary road or try offroading or something.
It all comes down to self policing. I think the board has done a wonderful job at giving us some tools (like the DB and the Address list), but all this talk is doing is making good obsessors doubt and fear. I was one of them and wrote a long drawn out PM about whether or not I was good or what would happen if I wasn't etc... I've been reassured by them, and that's great and all, but reiterates the fact that people that seem to be involved in this conversation aren't the ones that need to be contacted or sanctioned or whatever we're going to be calling it.
I'm not angry with anyone, and I'm not quite sure what my future is here, but I just wanted to put in something that I was thinking about. There are a few VBBS that I love, as well as some of the swaps that I like to play with. I seriously have never met a bad Bookobsessor. I like dealing with everyone, and I think that we're a great group. I just made a promise to myself this year that I'd say what I mean to say. And I'm not trying to be evil, I promise. I'm just pushing up everything that I'm thinking stream of consciousness, and I hope I'm not making anyone mad.
I want to thank everyone on this site for being awesome. Because you are. Each and every one of you. And I think we have to remind people of that sometimes. Let's not focus on the negative, but focus on the positive. So I'm done with posting, and I think I need to remind myself that I have to write this much a day for Script Frenzy, because that's next month. Anyway, GothamGal is out!
I came to this site just under a year ago, and I love(d) it. I've grown to love coming here a lot, talking and swapping, etc. I liked that there wasn't a lot of drama, or a lot of finger pointing...And I think people on the boards will even admit that.
But this new set of rules, just floors me and mirrors something else that I once loved. I used to be a regular on Nervousness.org (a altered mail site). Then the site owner decided to leave and switched it over to a board and then the site went down, just boards. As a result, I left. I've come back to that site a few times, but for the most part, not. Now, the difference on Nervousness was that there were originally a set of rules, that kinda went by the wayside when the main site went down--the feedback system went offline, etc. One good thing, though, was that a person wasn't automatically a member--you had to have a period of time where you participated in a few swaps and made sure you were bringing something to the Nervousness.org table.
The basic idea about these rules (and I'm normally the first person to embrace guidelines/rules) is that someone is policing the way an adult behaves. We're setting up rules because 2% of the people on this board don't follow through with commitments, but there are 98% of people that do follow through. 98%. Everyone I've seen on the boards lately, and even in this post are NOT the people that we're having to change the way we swap for.
Do you realize that a population where only 2% are 'outside' the rules is great? Especially for a web board? I mean, we're reliable and responsible people who have gathered together to celebrate one thing--books. We're all over the world, we come from different places and backgrounds and we've still been able to connect. Yeah, in a perfect world, we'd all have enough money for postage and the postal fairy would pickup whichever books we needed to send out that day and make them appear instantaneously at the place where they need to go... But this isn't the real world.
I personally should be able to get things out within 6 months, I have that recovering Catholic guilt thing that makes me feel bad if I don't send out something, and I thank the board for putting together the DB because it helped me track some things that I forgot about. But at the same time, I'm an adult. I don't need to be policed and I think that if I'm in someone's swap, I should play by someone's (meaning the swap creator's) rules--by playing in their game, I respect and say I'll follow their rules. Other than that, I don't feel right saying sending a PM to someone whose hosting or a member of the board saying "So-and-so isn't following through on their commitments." If I have an issue with not getting something, it's my responsibility to talk to the person on my own.
And I know confrontation sucks sometimes, I hate doing it, but the whole thing might be alleviated by me saying 'hey, I think we had a swap a few months ago, and I just wanted to be clear on what I'm getting from you. Do you have an idea of when you can send to me?' And if that deadline comes and you don't hear from them, fine. Then it's time to really start thinking about what to do. Yes, I understand that it's hard to wait for a book that you're reading the series of (went through the issue with Haunted by Kelley Armstrong lately), but if it's really a big issue, go to the library, or read a book that you have on mt tbr that you're owed. Everything happens for a reason, you know? Don't look at obstacles as roadblocks that'll leave you in bumper to bumper traffic for 3 hours--look at them as opportunities to take that secondary road or try offroading or something.
It all comes down to self policing. I think the board has done a wonderful job at giving us some tools (like the DB and the Address list), but all this talk is doing is making good obsessors doubt and fear. I was one of them and wrote a long drawn out PM about whether or not I was good or what would happen if I wasn't etc... I've been reassured by them, and that's great and all, but reiterates the fact that people that seem to be involved in this conversation aren't the ones that need to be contacted or sanctioned or whatever we're going to be calling it.
I'm not angry with anyone, and I'm not quite sure what my future is here, but I just wanted to put in something that I was thinking about. There are a few VBBS that I love, as well as some of the swaps that I like to play with. I seriously have never met a bad Bookobsessor. I like dealing with everyone, and I think that we're a great group. I just made a promise to myself this year that I'd say what I mean to say. And I'm not trying to be evil, I promise. I'm just pushing up everything that I'm thinking stream of consciousness, and I hope I'm not making anyone mad.
I want to thank everyone on this site for being awesome. Because you are. Each and every one of you. And I think we have to remind people of that sometimes. Let's not focus on the negative, but focus on the positive. So I'm done with posting, and I think I need to remind myself that I have to write this much a day for Script Frenzy, because that's next month. Anyway, GothamGal is out!
- 4,076
Gothamgal - I LOVE what you've said - it is SO accurate and I agree with you! 
Thank you for posting!
The only thing I feel a need to clarify again - for everyone - is that the rules, guidelines, and database all came into being/are being discussed because many members here REQUESTED something. The moderators thought they were responding to a need in our community - and if we were wrong, it's only because of mixed messages we've received. It's not that we want to "police" the swaps and such, it's that we thought we understood that the members wanted some accountability measures in place. So, we'll do another poll so that everyone can make a final decision as to how they feel about things, and we'll go from there.
Thank you for posting!
The only thing I feel a need to clarify again - for everyone - is that the rules, guidelines, and database all came into being/are being discussed because many members here REQUESTED something. The moderators thought they were responding to a need in our community - and if we were wrong, it's only because of mixed messages we've received. It's not that we want to "police" the swaps and such, it's that we thought we understood that the members wanted some accountability measures in place. So, we'll do another poll so that everyone can make a final decision as to how they feel about things, and we'll go from there.
Thanks for your reply. I didn't mean to sound all evil or anything...CdnBlueRose wrote: Gothamgal - I LOVE what you've said - it is SO accurate and I agree with you!
Thank you for posting!
The only thing I feel a need to clarify again - for everyone - is that the rules, guidelines, and database all came into being/are being discussed because many members here REQUESTED something. The moderators thought they were responding to a need in our community - and if we were wrong, it's only because of mixed messages we've received. It's not that we want to "police" the swaps and such, it's that we thought we understood that the members wanted some accountability measures in place. So, we'll do another poll so that everyone can make a final decision as to how they feel about things, and we'll go from there.
I can understand why there might be a need for these things, but I think it's just been crazy and effecting the morale of the board, which totally shouldn't happen.
I appreciate all of you, you're AWESOME. You put up with way more crap than I ever could, LOL...
Take care!
- 4,076
You don't sound evil at all - you sound quite sensible!Gothamgal wrote:Thanks for your reply. I didn't mean to sound all evil or anything...CdnBlueRose wrote: Gothamgal - I LOVE what you've said - it is SO accurate and I agree with you!
Thank you for posting!
The only thing I feel a need to clarify again - for everyone - is that the rules, guidelines, and database all came into being/are being discussed because many members here REQUESTED something. The moderators thought they were responding to a need in our community - and if we were wrong, it's only because of mixed messages we've received. It's not that we want to "police" the swaps and such, it's that we thought we understood that the members wanted some accountability measures in place. So, we'll do another poll so that everyone can make a final decision as to how they feel about things, and we'll go from there.
I can understand why there might be a need for these things, but I think it's just been crazy and effecting the morale of the board, which totally shouldn't happen.
I appreciate all of you, you're AWESOME. You put up with way more crap than I ever could, LOL...
Take care!
![]()