BookObsessed

Thank you Meshe for defending me. My post was the facts as I saw them. Just that, an opinion. Not an attack on anyone. I have had no problems with the mods in the past. I appreciate the job they are doing. I do not agree with everything they do, but that's to be expected.

I'm sorry if others took my statements as a personal attack, but attacking me back doesn't do any of us any good.

fantasy221 wrote:

AceofHearts wrote: Let's face it Sand appointed 'her' friends to be mods.  There is a clique and that is the way it is.

I really think a statement like that should be prefaced by "I think" because it's certainly not an absolute truth. At the risk of setting off a whole new meltdown, I'll put it out there and say that I'm not Sand's friend, nor have I ever considered myself her friend, though I was friendly towards her at times. I volunteered to be a mod because I liked it here and I was always around anyway. Full stop. The mod team isn't a clique - we argue just as much as anyone else here.

I'm sorry you felt insulted by what Ace said, but there are others of us who agree with her. I for one do feel that there are several cliques, and don't really feel included in any of them. I used to participate heavily in Book Relay, and was a mod there. I wasn't invited by Sand to be a mod here, although most of the other mods were.

I used to participate in the SSS swaps, and I'd get a pm to remind me to sign up. Not anymore. So I feel like I don't belong here, and have started going to other forums. Once I finish up my commitment to the Reading Divas I probably won't be back. I'm not expecting pity, or for anyone to ask me to stay, this is not a flounce post. I'm simply expressing my feelings on how I feel about the atmosphere and the changes that have gone on.

I appreciate the job that the mods are doing, I know it isn't easy to keep order/be in charge/etc of a forum. I also agree that the many pinned posts could be condensed into one place since there seem to be more and more of them everyday.

Fantastic idea turtle - v cool.

fantasy221 wrote:

Meshe, my post was indeed a personal response. I agree that mods should be able to step back and not take things personally. But just because any of us are mods doesn't mean we're not allowed to have feelings, or to express those feelings. I didn't take anything personally in Ace's post other than the part I quoted and responded to. Furthermore, I wasn't responding to Ace as a mod, I was responding to her as a person. Most of the posting I do around here is as a person, not a mod. When I'm acting as a mod, I try to be very clear about it. I think others can attest to that. I'm sorry you couldn't tell the difference. [/QUOTE]
But that's my point exactly.

When you are a moderator you don't get to take things personally. When you responded to Ace's post in the manner you did, I lost confidence in you as a fair and temperate moderator. Perhaps my definition of a moderator is not the same as yours or as others. I guess I'm thinking of the term moderate which is sort of 'middle of the road', calm, reasonable, not leaning to one side or the other. That's only my opinion though, so no hard feelings.

meshe wrote: But that's my point exactly.

When you are a moderator you don't get to take things personally. When you responded to Ace's post in the manner you did, I lost confidence in you as a fair and temperate moderator. Perhaps my definition of a moderator is not the same as yours or as others. I guess I'm thinking of the term moderate which is sort of 'middle of the road', calm, reasonable, not leaning to one side or the other. That's only my opinion though, so no hard feelings.

I've kept quiet in this discussion (I was away for a while and so I missed whatever prompted these actions), but I did want to say one small thing here. I agree with meshe about moderators and posting.

Of course, you are a person and have your own feelings. But being a moderator doesn't let you have that luxury like all the rest of us "regular" folk. Yes, you can say that you're posting as a personal response and not a moderator, but that line is not clearly drawn.

We are human. It's hard to distinguish those feelings. Thus, when a moderator gets involved in a heated personal discussion, it does call into question the ability for the moderator to act fairly in future situations when called upon to moderate.

Do I want moderators to become robot-like with no personal feelings? No, of course not. But you should be aware that everything you say does make an impact and even if you're not wearing your moderator hat at that moment, it's hard for that distinction to always be there in everyone's mind.

I'm not really addressing this at fantasy personally - I think it's something that we all need to consider, especially as moderators seem to be becoming more of the mediator type rather than just the fix code type.

I feel that Book Ob is less clique-ish than it was a year ago. So many new Obsessors have joined, or have become more involved, which is great!

Many of the long-time members have been on the site (and the previous Book Relay site) forever, so it seems only natural that there are lots of long-standing friendships. And that's wonderful!

Many of the people here have met in person, often 2, 3 4 or more times, which has further deepened friendships, and I think that too is only natural.

I think it would be very nice to see more people speak up and be more chatty. But maybe they are shy, don't want to speak up in a swap or "books read" thread or whatever. Maybe they're too busy.

And when we notice a newcomer to the board in a thread or swap, it would be nice for more people to welcome that person and draw them into the conversation. Same with longtime members who never say much.

I agree with you Teri.
Real life gets in the way for me some times and I don't notice that someone isn't around anymore unless they were really outspoken person. So I'm sorry if I don't notice that any of you aren't around as much.

Question.

So if someone is annoyed by you they report you?
And what happens then?

Will you get notified?

Marlene wrote: Question.

So if someone is annoyed by you they report you?
And what happens then?

Will you get notified?

LOL I know exactly why you're asking this Marlene, and ummm yup, that is what happens. Of course, being reported doesn't necessarily mean anything unless the mods find you've done something wrong.

So on being reported, the situation is investigated, whether that includes public posts, PMs, etc. As a matter of fact, my posts in the TBR thread right now could probably be considered by some to be harassment, even though what I'm saying is completely true, with no filter or emotion coloring anything I said. But yeah, if it's deemed to be harassment by a unanimous (?) vote, then you are issues a warning, which then lasts 90 days (?).

If someone "reports" you, I'm not yet sure if the investigation would happen first, or we'd notify the other person first. We'd probably contact that person first to get their side of the story so that a fair and impartial decision can be made.

Marlene wrote: Question.

So if someone is annoyed by you they report you?
And what happens then?

Will you get notified?

Well, first it would have to be more serious than annoyance. But, let's say someone has been nasty enough to you that you can't just brush it off any more - perhaps they've resorted to name-calling or following you around the forum responding rudely to your posts or they've sent you a number of nasty PM's - you're at the point that this is very upsetting to you, perhaps you've responded to them, perhaps you've ignored it to date..... there are various circumstances and it's hard to give an example without people taking it as THE definition..... but if you are feeling harassed by someone, then that's kinda when it's gone too far....

So, you have a situation where you feel you've had enough and you're not able to resolve it yourself, you PM or email one of the moderators. We will investigate the situation, and this will first involve contacting the other individual involved - we have to get both sides of any given story. We will try to mediate the situation once we have all the information available. This may be something we can work out peaceably, or it may be something where two people have just clashed so badly that we need to request that they cease and desist any contact with each other for a period of time - so that tempers can cool and emotions can fade somewhat.

One or both of the individuals involved (depending if the behavior was one-sided or involved both) will probably receive a warning which will be placed on their account here for a set period of time, probably 90 days for a first-time incident and longer if it involves repeat offensive behavior. The situation is thoroughly discussed with both parties prior to the warning and the warning will come via a completely expected formal PM.

I really doubt that these measures will have to be used with any degree of frequency - most disagreements here are settled quite amicably. I understand that people may be hesitant about this when it's first introduced, but I think time will tell that this really doesn't have much impact on our community. Hope that answers, but if not, please ask again!